Silent Hill: The Room Stupid People Own Our Fate
by Vash2002
Summary: Everything thing seems alittle stupid for even my taste. Chapter 2 comiing up or is up, depends....
1. A Locked Bathroom, Is A Useless Bathroom

Silent Hill: The Room  
  
Stupid People Own Our Fait  
  
Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Silent Hill series are own by Konami.  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
A Locked Bathroom Is A Useless Bathroom.  
  
We get an over head shot of a Henry lying in his bed with head phones on. He is apparently jamming to some  
  
music.  
  
Henry:  
  
(nodding with satisfaction)  
  
Poopoo pee pee 21, 18.....  
  
He is unaware of the strange happenings going on in his room. The walls become dank, and kinda shitty.  
  
cracks appear here and there. And the room takes on a dark persona.  
  
Henry:  
  
This is part three of my confession.....  
  
A red stains appears in the middle of the ceiling. It becomes more intense in darkness and size. But Henry  
  
is still content on listening to music, and doesn't notice.  
  
Henry:  
  
Responsibility, what's that?.... Responsibility not quite yet.  
  
A zombie like being starts to come through this red puddle in the ceiling. It is no other than the late  
  
Sam Kinison. And then finally Henry takes off his head phones, and finally notices, he seems   
  
petrafied. Then without warning, the zombie Sam Kinison, still half way in the ceiling, does his trade   
  
mark scream.  
  
Sam Kinison:  
  
AHHHH!!!!! COCKER SUCKER, PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!  
  
Henry:  
  
(scared shitless)  
  
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Then suddenly Henry awakes from this horrible nightmare. In his normal bed and apartment again.  
  
Henry:  
  
I should have known it was a nightmare when I realized  
  
I was listening to Usher.  
  
Henry arrises from his bed and heads toward his living room. But he notices his bathroom is locked up  
  
by huge rusty chains. On the door in red, it says: Do Not Go In! Your friend is marked out and under   
  
that is says sincerely, Walter.  
  
Henry:  
  
What the hell? Who locked up my bathroom and who is Walter?   
  
I'm pretty sure I had a Walter on my bowling team.  
  
scene cuts to Henry looking at his bowling team's pictures.  
  
Henry:  
  
Walter.....Walter...Walter  
  
Walter Chung? No that's not him. Wait what?  
  
Cuts back to Henry in front of his bathroom door.  
  
Henry:  
  
Well I don't know no Walter. I hope this isn't  
  
some poor excuse of a bathroom joke. Cause   
  
I don't get it.  
  
Knocks on the bathroom door.  
  
Henry:  
  
Hello? I feel like I need to say something, so I'm just   
  
going to say it. I love you. Abby I love.  
  
Cuts back to Henry in front of his bathroom door.  
  
Henry:  
  
Well I don't know no Walter. I hope this isn't  
  
some poor excuse of a bathroom joke. Cause  
  
I dont' get it.  
  
Henry begins to formulate some kind of plan, and plan that consist on solving the mystery of   
  
the bathroom and Walter. We cut to Henry knocking on his next door neighbor's door. A young  
  
attractive female by the name of Eileen answers the door.  
  
Eileen:  
  
Hello, my name is Eileen, what is yours?  
  
Henry:  
  
Umm...Henry, well you don't know me....  
  
Eileen:  
  
Nice to meet you Henry.  
  
Henry:  
  
Nice to meet you too. Umm...well you don't know me, but  
  
........  
  
Eileen:  
  
But nothing.....  
  
Henry:  
  
?? yeah Umm....Well I'm your neighbor, and   
  
I came over here, because I'm in a confusing predicament.  
  
Eileen:  
  
Would you like to come in?  
  
Henry:  
  
Well ummm...yeah I guess.  
  
Eileen:  
  
So what's this strange predicament you speak of?  
  
Henry:  
  
Your not going to seduce me are you?  
  
Eileen:  
  
My sex drive is gone, so no.  
  
Henry:  
  
Good, well Umm....my bathroom is locked over in my  
  
apartment over there. And the strangest thing.....  
  
ummmm....Some person by the name of Walter  
  
wrote something along the lines of, Don't go in.  
  
Do you happen to know a Walter?  
  
Eileen:  
  
Well I know a lot of Walters, and 3 quarters of them aren't even real.  
  
Henry:  
  
I see. Interesting. And when I say interesting, I mean weird.  
  
Did you happen to see any strange at all.  
  
Eileen:  
  
No. I mean I been hearing some strange noises.  
  
Henry:   
  
Like?  
  
Eileen:  
  
Well the other night, I heard some one say dirty bitch over and over.  
  
Henry:   
  
You did, did you?  
  
Eileen:  
  
Yeah, but then I hung up the phone. And it stopped.  
  
Henry:  
  
Can I use your bathroom?  
  
Eileen:   
  
Sure.  
  
Henry slips into the bathroom, and stares in the mirror.  
  
Henry:  
  
Okay, this broad obviously is too attracted to you  
  
to speak common since. This is a test. A  
  
test of one's loyalty. I will go in there say  
  
I had a nice night. And then go home. Jack myself  
  
off to sleep, and that will be it.  
  
Henry takes a deep breath, and walks into the living room, only to find Eileen sleeping in her bed.  
  
Henry:  
  
Geez, I wasn't gone THAT long.   
  
Oh geez I'm having that urge to..........to...  
  
Looks at Eileens supple sleeping body. Helpless.......to call for help....to scream.....to love.....to feel it...  
  
We cut to Henry putting panties on from Eileens dresser. Putting one on after the other. The Robbie doll  
  
turns to point at Henry.  
  
Henry:  
  
No, shut up...Shut the hell up! I wasn't doing it  
  
Leave me alone. Don't....what are you looking at?  
  
Give me a break, will ya? Heather, I don't know  
  
a Heather.  
  
Cuts to Henry in his room writing religious babble and praises about Bob Marley's music on each and   
  
ever one of Eileen's panties.  
  
Henry:  
  
(laughs)  
  
I will mail each and everyone of these to her family,   
  
then we will see what that bitch has to say about that.  
  
Cuts to Henry standing infront of his locked bathroom door.  
  
Henry:  
  
Doesn't it feel like a day goes by, and you don't get anything done?  
  
Suddenly I loud noise is heard.  
  
Henry:  
  
Jesus H mutha fuckin boom boom Christ!!!  
  
What the hell was that!!!??  
  
Henry investigates the origins of the sound. The sound in which came from his kitchen. He slowly  
  
moves to the kitchen, hesistating a little. He then opens his fridge to find a huge hole along with some  
  
very nice pics of Uma Thurman.  
  
Henry:  
  
Wow, how did someone know I like her?  
  
Oh and there is a huge ass hole in there too. No doubt it was those  
  
damn half human orcs from the popular Lord of The Ring books  
  
and the equally popular Lord of The Ring movies. It's obvious  
  
that Saruman has mistaken my fridge has a breeding ground  
  
for those vile orc tra.......  
  
Henry is slapped in the back of the head by an unseen person.  
  
Henry:  
  
I mean....weird, what is a hole doing here?  
  
I'm obviously curious as to where is leads.  
  
Henry pockets the pics, and begins squeezing into the hole  
  
Henry:  
  
I could of sworn I was a 20.  
  
As he does, he is put into a tranz like state, and thrown through a dark like tunnel  
  
and he wakes up lying on a cold concrete floor. Gets up, and notices the long   
  
esculator behind him.  
  
Henry:  
  
Why the hell didn't I get to ride that down here?  
  
Notices a woman down the dark hall.  
  
Henry:  
  
Selena?  
  
Henry walks a ways down to meet this beautiful latina women. She turns to meet him. She is  
  
Cynthia.  
  
Cynthia:   
  
Hey stranger, what brings you to my  
  
sub conscious mind?  
  
Henry:  
  
I'm Henry.  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Thanks chief, I was going for the whole impersonal thing,  
  
but the personal thing can work too, I guess.  
  
Henry:  
  
What's your name?  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Your in my dream and you don't know my name?  
  
Henry:  
  
Are you sure it isn't my dream. Cause I know my name.  
  
Cynthia:  
  
No it's mine.  
  
Henry:  
  
Okay, whatever you can claim this one, but the next one  
  
is mine.  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Well anyways, my name is Cynthia.  
  
Henry:  
  
That's not very latina. That's my aunts name.   
  
Cynthia:  
  
I'm Irish/Italian.  
  
Henry:  
  
I'm white, but you don't here my giving out names  
  
that don't sound like they shouldn't be my name  
  
do to what ethnicity I am.  
  
Cynthia:  
  
So what are you here for? Are you here to wake me up?   
  
Cause this is one hell of a nightmare.  
  
Henry:  
  
Sure is, I mean I didn't get to ride the esculator, and   
  
it only goes down, so it would be like walking stairs, if  
  
I were to go against it.  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Is that right tiger?  
  
Henry:  
  
You aint no damn valley girl, and I'm no Chief/Tiger, alright?  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Did you see the monsters?  
  
Henry:  
  
What the Orc's of Saruman's armies?  
  
Cynthia:  
  
No, they are like dogs with long tongues.  
  
Henry:  
  
No, they look like giant hyenas. There is this one bit  
  
were the dworf Gimli, god rest his soul(laughs) gets stuck  
  
under one of them.....and more and more keep getting  
  
stu........  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Stop rambling!  
  
Henry:  
  
So what do you want to do?  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Wake up  
  
Henry:  
  
Geez, I didn't know I was THAT bad socially.  
  
Cynthia:  
  
Look.......  
  
She begins to cough horribly.  
  
Henry:  
  
Cover your damn mouth!  
  
Cynthia:  
  
I need to go to the bathroom.  
  
Henry:  
  
Wash your hands.  
  
Suddenly Henry wakes up in his bed, with his pants down. We assume he was masturbating.  
  
Henry:  
  
Well looks like a got something done today.  
  
The phone rings.  
  
Henry:  
  
Hello, Henry's apartment. You want to talk to Henry?  
  
Cynthia:  
  
YES!!! HELP!!!  
  
Henry:  
  
May I ask who is calling?  
  
Cynthia:  
  
CYHNTHIA YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON, HELP!!!!!  
  
Henry:  
  
Okay, but I need to clean up first.  
  
Hangs up...cuts to him standing infron of his bathroom.  
  
Henry:  
  
What the hell? I don't remember a Walter...  
  
To Be Continued................. 


	2. The Girl Who Called Sniffer Dog

Silent Hill: The Room  
  
Stupid People Own Our Fate  
  
CHAPTER 2:  
  
The Girl Who Called Sniffer Dog.  
  
Our hero Henry puts his pants on. On the side of these pants there is a stitched  
  
peace sign.  
  
Henry:I got a hard on for these pants!  
  
Henry makes his way to the fridge with the hellish portal.  
  
Henry: It was a little tight last time. So this time.......LUBRICATION!!!!(echoes)  
  
Henry douses himself with mayonnaise and a wee bit of dish washer soap. Henry then   
  
squeezes through the hole. And through the portal he goes, back to the same place  
  
he was before with Cynthia.  
  
Henry:Hello!? Cynthia, I'm back. I got some very cool pants on now.  
  
No answer.  
  
Henry: Cynthia I brought toilet paper just in case!!  
  
Henry walks to the bathroom, then politely knocks.  
  
Henry: I also brought tampax pearl, just incase. And don't ask were I got them.  
  
No answer.  
  
Henry: Geez...find don't talk you cold hard bitch!  
  
Henry starts to walk off, but then quickly comes back to the door.  
  
Henry: I didn't mean that! I'm sorry. It's just that no one pays attention to me no more,  
  
and it makes me a little sad. I try to make friends, but they don't seem interested in me  
  
and things I like. I mean yeah I try to like what they like, but I can only like kiddy porn   
  
so much.....I never had a fri........  
  
The bathroom door creeps open a tad.  
  
Henry:I guess my pathetic speech won you over....well come on out....  
  
A long red tongue comes around the half way opened door.  
  
Henry:I'm truly flattered and all, but my anus is off limits too.....  
  
Suddenly the door bursts open and to very digusting sniffer dogs with long tongues come out.  
  
Henry:Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in which all Mormans go to!!!!!!!!  
  
The dogs start slowly circling Henry, growling and making Thunder Cat noises.  
  
Henry: Why didn't I bring that pipe that laid so conveniently next to my fridge  
  
or that even more conveniently placed pistol next to it!!!??? Hey why do they sound  
  
like cats?  
  
The dogs start to close in on our poor Henry. Henry without thinking kicks one of the  
  
dogs, and surprisingly enough, it drops down dead, blood and all.  
  
Henry: Catherine Zeta Jone's Ghost!!!! That was easy!!!  
  
The other dog seems very confused.  
  
Henry: And as God said himself, LET THERE BE STOMPAGE!!!!!!  
  
Henry stomps the living day out of the remaing sniffer dog, leaving it in it's own blood.  
  
Henry: The driver's ED teacher said I had a lead foot, but I didn't believe him.  
  
Henry proceeds into the bathroom, when a level up icon shines above his head.  
  
Henry: 0.o wha????  
  
Henry walks into the bathroom and checks out the scenery.  
  
Henry: Girl's bathrooms aren't better then guy's, they don't even have urinals. Point  
  
one for us! Cynthia you there?  
  
Henry proceeds to the last stall, to find a white doll looking Cynthia with out reached  
  
bloody hands sitting on the toilet.  
  
Henry: Yes I can see your bloody hands, you can put them down now. What did you do, dig  
  
deep? Hey your white. Do you usually use the restroom with the door open? Did those dogs  
  
lick you dry or something? HEY TALK TO ME!!!!!  
  
no answer of course. Henry finally notices the big gapping hole in the wall next to him.  
  
Henry: What's with all the freaken holes?  
  
Henry walks into the hole and wakes up in bed. His pants are down one's again, but this   
  
time the Cynthia dolls lies down there in head giving position.  
  
Henry: Not even your doll could resist!!  
  
The phone rings. And Henry answers.  
  
Henry: Hola, que puede pedir me estoy llamando, y si es un hombre de las ventas, hago un favor y voy la cogida usted mismo.  
  
Cynthia: It's me again, CYNTHIA!!! You didn't come save me!  
  
Henry: You were in the bathroom, and now you are in here, so stop calling her you ¡retraso de perforación del burro!  
  
Henry hangs up the phone, only for it to ring again. Henry answers it.  
  
Henry: Hello? This is Henry Townsend, not relations to Stuart Townsend, may I help you?  
  
Cynthia: Okay look, I'm trapped in the subway train. I need your help!  
  
Henry: Who's this?  
  
Cynthia: CYNTHIA FUCKIN IDIOT!!!!!  
  
Henry: Aunt Cynthia? Hey what the hell has been going with you?  
  
Cynthia: You got to be kidding me!!!  
  
Henry: I kid you not, I really did do twois in jax.  
  
Cynthia: Look if you help me I will do you a special favor....  
  
Henry: Like make a ham omlet for me?  
  
Cynthia:.........uh-yeah well okay, yeah sure.  
  
Henry: With melted cheese?  
  
Cynthia:Yes.  
  
Henry: And the hams cut up in a little cubes?  
  
Cynthia: Of course.  
  
Henry: Then I want you to play footies with me.  
  
Cynthia: Okay sure.  
  
Henry: But no sex!!!  
  
Cynthia: Whatever you want, that's find, so can you help?  
  
Henry: Well su....wait how can you call from a subway train? Do they have phones in there?  
  
Cynthia: This one does, so come on down here.  
  
Henry: Well okay, but I wouldn't go if I wasn't so sure this is a trap.  
  
Cynthia: Okay good, thanks.  
  
Henry: So whatcha thinking about?  
  
Cynthia hangs up the phone. We then cut to Henry at Eileens door, knocking of course.  
  
Eileen answers.  
  
Eileen: Hey Harry.  
  
Henry: Henry.  
  
Eileen: My name is Eileen, but I guess it does sound a little like Henry.  
  
Henry: No that's my name.  
  
Eileen: Oh okay, so Mr. Eileen, what brings you here?  
  
Henry: My name is Henry.  
  
Eileen: Oh yea that's right, Robbie says you do bad things.  
  
Henry: Well Robbie doesn't know me.  
  
Henry looks over Eileen's shoulder, giving Robbie the evil eye.  
  
Eileen: So anyways, what brings you here, again.  
  
Henry: Well, I just wanted to say, that well there's this girl  
  
Eileen: Yes?  
  
Henry: Her name is Cynthia, and well we're getting pretty serious. She asks me to rescue  
  
her a couple of times. And well....I just wanted you to know.....I'm breaking up with you.  
  
We cut to Eileen and Henry sitting on her bed, she's crying on his shoulder.  
  
Henry: It's not you.  
  
Eileen: (sob)  
  
Henry: It's me.  
  
Eileen: (sob)  
  
Henry: I'm sure any ordinary guy would find you rapable, I mean you are quite beautiful.  
  
Eileen: (sob)  
  
Henry: Why do you keep saying sob?  
  
Eileen:(sniffles) Sorry.  
  
Henry: Well I'm kinda late on rescuing Cynthia.  
  
Eileen: Okay, well I will always love your pants, Henry.  
  
Henry take his pants off and gives them to her.  
  
Henry: Keep them, to remember me by.  
  
Henry then leaves to set out on his misson. We look back on Eileen sniffing Henry's pants.  
  
Eileen: God bless him and his choice of pants!  
  
Henry puts some sweat pants on, and then goes back into the damn hole again, and ends up in the  
  
same damn place again, geez.  
  
Henry: Grow my haIRRRR, I wannabe wannabe wannabe Jim Morrison.  
  
Henry make his way all the way down the hall way, and is stop at the ticket booth.  
  
Henry: Damn it, no money, whatever will I do?  
  
Henry hopes the ticket booth thing, and makes his way down to the subway train. He can see  
  
Cynthia in the train.  
  
Cynthia: Henry, you made it!!! Thank god!!!!  
  
Henry: Oh so you thank him, and not me, fuck that!!  
  
Henry begins to walk off  
  
Cynthia: Thank you Henry. You more than god!!!!  
  
Henry: Damn straight!  
  
Henry walks back over to the subway door.  
  
Henry: Looks like your stuck in there pretty good. How the hell did you get in there?  
  
Cynthia: I fell down the toilet and ended up here.  
  
Henry: Well I wanted to talk to you about our relationship.  
  
Cynthia: What relationship!?  
  
Henry: The one me and you share. The bond we share, is that of love. And though  
  
I feel like we moved so far so fast, I really love you.  
  
Cynthia: Uh...what?  
  
Henry: Your the best latina friend I've ever had.  
  
Cynthia: I'm Irish/Italian.  
  
Henry: And I would feed you pizza in a pot of gold, on a rolling hill of potatos.  
  
Cynthia: Henry your sweet, and all, coming down here and saving me. But I don't think.....  
  
Henry: And I would Irish up are drink in the morning, while feeding meatballs to our  
  
White/Irish/Italian baby. I would name him Apoc, from The Matrix....sweeeet  
  
Cynthia: Your not liste.......  
  
Henry: And then we would make love in a bed full of roses. Of course just the peddle of   
  
the roses, cause those damn thorns would get in places only my doctor can stick his dirty  
  
little finger in.  
  
Cynthia: Henry, please....listening...  
  
We can hear zombie like moaning in the backround.  
  
Cynthia: Henry!!!  
  
Henry: Yes, you would be calling my name just like that....and we will wake the baby,   
  
and you would have to get up and put it back to sleep, cause I would need my rest, for  
  
work the next morning. I have big meeting with the board exect...  
  
Cynthia: Henry!!! OMG TURN AROUND!!!!  
  
The zombie like moaning grows intense.  
  
Henry: And the baby shall suck upon your razor hard nipples. And I shall squeeze orange juice  
  
upon it, so that we can drink. Then..........  
  
Cynthia: OMG PLEASE HENRY SHUT UP AND LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Will Henry stop being stupid and look, will Cynthia every be rescued!!! Will Eileen  
  
ever be happy with Henry's pants. Will Apoc ever be born. This and more will be   
  
found out in the next chapter, Chapter 3: "Floating Zombie Ghost Need Lovin Too"  
  
STAY TUNED!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
